a huge, foolish project ?

Hey Seb, Over the last four weeks my entire sense of sexuality has gradually diminished. This time last year I felt vital and absolutely in touch with my sexuality (rather than orientation, if you follow). I'm finding it really difficult to deal with, in the sense that I could perhaps understand if I realised the reason why I've gradually become so generally disinterested in my mind, body and soul... but I don't. It's really weird, I wish I did feel more in touch but I just seem to have allowed myself to lose interest with ease. I mean I'm not impotent physically; I just simply can't be bothered in my head. And I want to be bothered. I'm only just eighteen, and I'm a little concerned because it doesn't bode well. I've read and re-read the content of your website and this seems to be your domain. Any ideas what could be wrong; or do you think I've just mindlessly thrown away some sort of 'connection'? Regards, and many thanks Oli

Seb Cox Replies : Oli, Oli, Oli. Do something that scares you. When you still have  some energy left from that experience. Go and expose your anus to the sun. Feel the heat of the sun radiating deeply inside you. Then sit down and relax with a pen and paper and write a short erotic story. Or as my old mate Mr. Rumi puts it,

These meaningless window-shoppers,

who idly ask, How much is that? Oh I’m just looking.

They handle a hundred items and put them down,

shadows with no capital.

What is spent - is love and two eyes wet with weeping.

But these walk into a shop,

and their whole lives pass suddenly in that moment,

in that shop.

Where did you go? Nowhere.

What did you take inside? Nothing much.

Even if you don’t know what you want,

buy something to be part of the exchanging flow.

Start a huge, foolish project,

like Noah.

It makes absolutely no difference

what people think of you.

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